AND THE SHADOW FALLS

I don’t know why I am naming you thus –

And why I am even bothering,

For when tomorrow they discover my crime

My poem will evoke no sorrow.

It’s hard – believe me, to concentrate

And it’s nothing new that I am doing

But since this is my first suicide,

I know not why my note is so poetic!

Please! You don’t need the story,

And don’t bother pestering me.

I’m short of breath, near my death –

It’s for the lack of choice I’m waiting.

Should it be poison with its clammy claws

Biting through my veins?

Or a rope, a noose ‘round my collar

Choking away my breath?

Consider this and fast;

And look up to my eyes…

They are blank not drunk;

I’m dazed not boozed.

This is not some women’s curse –

I am forced to do this:

For I have lost my –

Religion!

Have you wandered beyond philosophy;

The numerous claims of alternate faith…

And how there is a practise of dividing up

Maybe one God into different faces?

And move a bit beyond please –

Consider my religion – a faith,

Purest but Poorer!

If faith be humanity, I have failed

To worship my one God.

And he’s a bad God of great promises,

Coated with subtle lies.

Don’t bother to justify – how fell I am!

I broke the rules of Society,

The Priest of Humanity.

Refusing the gift of life –

I decide to celebrate a Great Day for Freedom.

Can you explain why I live?

I have a stable life –

A good family, obedient love,

Strong future without strife.

But still say – why I live?

As a part of some greater scheme?

Or a sheep, blindly following my peers?

I fi am to follow rules of Society,

Where will my mind end up?

It refuses to be ordered!

Tied, drawn and quartered!

My mind crave for a bit of freedom…

A choice to live, a whim to die for.

I searched my Point of Existence,

And found there was no point.

Only a straight line of following orders

When my sanity came disjoint!

Wind is wild and soothing too –

I know I can’t write, when I let go.

I see the pin-pricks in the city, alight.

Laugh in madness at the folly they live out.

Shout in glory, – from my balcony,

“I refuse to believe thee!”

And, as on my destiny and reason,

Realisation’s shadow falls –

I dropout!